PRESENTED IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER
ANSWERING MACHINE
Lily you are
the one & only friend I have
who in this technological age
still has an answering machine
You use it to call
your dog when you're away at work
just to remind him that he is good
& you will see him soon
& you can tell
that he really listens to your calls
because when you get home you will find
his toys laid by the machine
Coz he loves you best
CARE
We woke to our neighbor's cries
The sting of smoke in our sleepy eyes
& I said baby better get dressed
Get the dog we can leave the rest
By the time we got downstairs
the fire engines were already there
& you were shaking you were so scared
I held you & kissed your smoky hair
That's when I knew
that I could take care of you
& when my best friend died
from the cancer that ate him inside
I got drunk & I stayed that way
for several nights into several days
For the times I was aware
what I remember is that you were there
You held head & I cried & cried
You called our jobs & you lied & lied
That's when I could see
the way you take care of me
CHRISTMAS IN DEARBORN
On the train to your hometown
at stranger's side on Christmas Eve
Dozing in the window seat
your laundry in your lap
Your brother's pick-up truck is in the lot
engine running
Steady snow the dog's asleep
your mom complains about the tree
Cousins come at dinnertime
with babies & partners
You'll talk about your job or talk about
your apartment
On the bed where you first slept
with your husband at seventeen
Read your yearbooks back to front
with TV on & your skirt off
& counted all of your teachers who were
younger than you now
CHRISTMAS IN MILWAUKEE
Troubled water
I've got six feet in my house
Baby daughter
with goldfish in her mouth
Got your letter
You want a Christmas in Milwaukee
I've got trouble enough
I've got trouble enough
Bells are ringing
I've been drinking all my cheer
Fill the tumbler
when the spirit's cold in here
If I'm the good one
Brother it's by default
The folks in their graves
have been doing summersaults
I've got trouble enough
I've got trouble enough
Chevy Nova
rusted out underneath
They broke the window
took the radio & wreath
Drove the long way
just listening to the breeze
I've got trouble enough
I've got trouble enough
I've got trouble enough
I've got trouble enough
CHRISTMAS IN NIGHTMARE CITY
Heater's blowing in the car
over the sound of a college game
Don't know the team names
but it's nice to have a voice on
Didn't mean to drive so far
but you just had to get away
Been walking circles round the house all day
til you had to turn some lights on
Stopped for half a tank of gas
plus some Skittles & a diet Sprite
Could've stared at the beers all night
but you noticed the clerk was watching
Gary's beautiful at night
by the lights of the refineries
It's like Christmas in Nightmare City
It's absolutely shocking
What do you call what you are now
Three months dry & gaining weight
Wondering how long it's supposed to take
before you feel stronger
CHRISTMAS IN OAKLAND
It's Christmas in Oakland
I don't feel a thing
rode bikes to the Chevron
for Chesterfield Kings
the smoke in our eyes
as we ride how it stings
what tidings we bring
It's Christmas in Oakland
& warm as spring
snuck into the movies
with tall boys to drink
asleep half an hour
into some awful thing
& dreaming
It's Christmas in Oakland
no carolers sing
the whole town's desserted
gingerbread housing
we're Saint Nicks with buckets
& bells to ring
what tidings we bring
On Christmas in Oakland
we had a fling
& drank the good whiskey
you'd been saving
with stars in our eyes
lying on mattress springs
we were beaming
CHRISTMAS STEVE
There are always twinkle lights
at my auntie's house
& you can hear Jingle Bells
Always playin' loud
Because when he was seventeen
My cousin Steven took LSD
on Christmas Eve
Now he's always kind of Christmassy
Christmas Steve
He walks around town in his Santa hat
He doesn't bother anyone
He's got a job at my other cousin's work
Mowin' lawns out in the sun
But because back in '93
He swallowed too much LSD
on Christmas Eve
he's just always kind of Christmassy
Christmas Steve
DAVID ALLEN
Out past the curfew
& out past the fence
childs in the woods behind town
with flashlights & blankets
a tarp for a tent
a wild place to lay ourselves down
But us two were too scared
try as we might
to sleep under screech owls
& moths in the night
we ran back to your house
before it was light
& Tarzan'd the apple tree
up to the balcony
That was the summer
that we both turned ten
before you left our neighborhood
your sister your mom & you
changed names again
to escape your step dad for good
I thought that I saw you
the other night
outside a sports bar
in neon light
but I should know better
than trust my sight
how I've wondered Davy
if often you thought of me
DOLORES & KIMBERLY
I came to Indiana
when I was 32
I didn't know anyone but you
I got off of the bus
with the one bag I could bring
plus the cash I got for the ring
You were waiting at the station
with a Thermos & some flowers
I knew your jacket from your picture
The streets were so empty
you'd think it was the rapture
Our midnight world
Just me & you
I moved into your apartment
It was comfortable for two
You let me paint the bedroom blue
I started working at the bar
You would drive me in your car
& you'd come pick me up too
Headlights down deserted roads
looked like a lunar landscape
Our midnight world
Just me & you
Jesse gave me the divorce
when I was 34
I just can't see the kids anymore
That night after closing
we opened up some good champagne
& we slow danced across the floor
That night the radio played Moon River
in our midnight world
for me & you
GOLDFISH IN A ROBIN'S NEST
Set all day by the river side &
slept all night in the trees
dreamt that I was a robin singing
calling you to me
Build us a nest
between the branches
gentle in the breeze
robin's egg blue
robin's egg blue
Queasy seasick for ages
there's a swell in inside of me
funny feeling like goldfish flipping
fins in my belly
Imagine your face
with dad's eyes shining
pretty as could be
robin's egg blue
robin's egg blue
HOW YOU GOT YOUR PICTURE ON THE WALL
Growing up in Richmond
you were anarchic & shy
Tried to steal some tampons
that you were too scared to buy
"Say cheese" the Kroger manager said
in his fateful drawl
That was how you got your picture on the wall
You told me the story
the first night that we hung out
A thousand miles west
in your new room in your new house
You laughed when I said
"I'd like to see that photo now"
& we kissed beneath the pictures on your wall
A couple Julys later
& we live together now
I drove your van to Richmond
to move your kid brother out
& cruising by the Kroger
I remembered all about
Laney, how you got your picture on the wall
I snuck around the back
to where deliveries arrive
I saw a door said MANAGER
& so I went inside
A grid of Polaroids stared
Yours stared hardest of them all
That was how I got your picture off the wall
That was how I got your picture off the wall
KITTY WINN
We got married in September
The baby came the next December
So I got off the road
It's the longest I've been home
since I remember
I wake up earlier these days
to dress the kid & fix her eggs
Then we'll walk down to the park
if it's nice out
There's a swing set where she plays
I'm not out looking for something
I haven't found
You won't see me around
I've got a family now
I used to drive all night no stopping
like a Batman with no Robin
& then sometime around dawn
I'd wake up with my seatbelt on
to some cop knocking
I've seen a lot of wrecks & burnouts
& nights the crowds just didn't turn out
& I've drunk myself so ill
& nearly got myself killed
more times than I would care to count
I'm not out looking for something
I haven't found
You won't see me around
I've got a family now
I watched The Exorcist again
& recognized Kitty Winn
from The Panic in Needle Park
with Al Pacino
She played his girlfriend
It felt like seeing an old friend
the way I wondered where she'd been
As I sat & pet the cat
with my wife's head on my lap
on the sofa in the den
I'm not out looking for something
I haven't found
You won't see me around
I've got a family now
LITTLE SABLE POINT LIGHTHOUSE
For the weekend
that Elise turned 28
she booked a motel room
on the Michigan side of the lake
with her boyfriend CJ
a couple miles down the way
from Little Sable Point Lighthouse
They went swimming
drank beer & watched TV
but on the second night
CJ couldn't sleep
so he snuck out with her keys
& drove the Cherokee
out to see the lighthouse
Staring up at the tower
watching the big light spin
hypnotized by the silver beam
that cut right through the dim
that's how Elise imagined him
he was never seen again
Years later
in Michigan again
for the second wedding
of an old school friend
Elise & her husband
happen by
Little Sable Point Lighthouse
Just a ghost now
decommissioned some time before
it had been the site
of endless imagined horror
but with a calm that surprised her
Elise parked the car
& walked out to see the lighthouse
Staring up at the tower
that now stood dark
surrounded by the quiet
of Silver Lake State Park
Elise squinted at the scene
she remembered from her dreams
MIGHT OF THE MOOSE
On my way home from Traverse City
I hit a moose it wasn't pretty
Walked til I found a Citgo payphone down the road
& I called your house it's the only number that I know
You picked up & said this is surprising
I stood in the dark apologizing
for the cheap way I ended our good thing
& I asked if you would call a tow truck for me
I walked up the road in the direction
of the hatchback I just had wrecked &
I thought of last night the fight we had in there
& I thought of the way the light looked in your hair
I expected to find the beast embedded
in the windshield the way I'd left it
but there was just blood & glass on the smashed hood
I guess he came to & ran back through the wood
MORE TROUBLE
waiting by the phone
waiting on the doctor
to call in with some kind of news
waiting all the morning
waiting on the doctor
to call in with some kind of news
waiting by the phone
waiting on the doctor
to call in with some kind of news
waiting all the afternoon
waiting on the doctor
to call in with any kind of news
waiting all the evening
waiting on the doctor
to call in with some kind of news
your sister got the phone
she picked up the hallway
& fainted dead away
when she heard the doctor say
I'm sorry Jane
MOTION JUICE (For D.C. Pierson)
Messing round with these kids
& fell in the pool
got my phone wet
that's why I ain't been calling you
believe me Ma
if I coulda I'd be calling you
If you wanna cruise
I got the motion juice
Casting spells like a foo
just to get back
swapping souls at school
just to get back
face down in the gravel
just to get back
Shake your blues
I got the motion juice
Conveyance bumps & it bumps
I think a wheel is loose
shook a soda cup
off of my 22's
whip it real hard
you seen them 22's
So get your shoes
I got the motion juice
MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY
My sister & me
we don't see eye to eye
she's got religion
& I don't ask why
her husband & kids
they all pray to the sky
It was my sister's birthday
the other night
36 candles
for someone to light
but I didn't call her
& I didn't write
Oh
when we were kids
she stuck up for me
when no one else did
My sister's got a scar
under her eye
where I hit her with a sparkler
when she was 5
on the Klamath River
the 4th of July
My sister's got a heart
that's open wide
can't seem to talk
without making her cry
to bring up the past
is like twisting a knife
Oh
when we were kids
she stuck up for me
when no one else did
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A PUPPY UNDERFOOT
(music by Owen Ashworth, lyrics by Jody Weinmann)
My love for you
It's not an atom bomb
My love for you
It's not a lightning storm
My love for you
It's like a puppy underfoot
Better watch my step
You know I could trample it
My love for you
It's not a movie script
Doesn't make sense
To my friends when I describe it
My love for you
Is quiet and it's sweet
Better keep you close
You know you're my family
My love for you
It's a small thing
My love for you
It's a real thing
NEPHEW IN THE WILD
Alicia
she married young
The year she was widowed
she had a son
On Christmas
or when you'd pass through
You'd bring Danzig records
for your nephew
In hard times
kids grow up fast
Please be there for him
your sister would ask
He's trouble
just like you were
With girls & with teachers
Without a father
Like you
when you were a child
A young nephew out in the wild
At sixteen
he dropped out of school
Took off with some jewelry
his dad's coat & tools
He called you
from the bus depot
With his girlfriend pregnant
& nowhere to go
You told him
that he should go home
& said you were sorry
& hung up the phone
Then no one
heard from him at all
When Alicia came crying
you didn't mention his call
Like you
when you were a child
Your nephew's out in the wild
NEW GOSPEL
I could hear the T.V. playing
as I was coming up the stair
loud enough the dead could hear
You've been watching all your
game shows
trying to find a code
like there's some trick
that they don't want you to know
You've been stashing all your empties
in the neighbor's bins
like the landlord doesn't know
you're drinking
You've been sermonizing every day
just to keep your ghosts away
it's a wonder that you find
so much to say
Oh
you need a new gospel
because the bottom fell out
the old one long ago
OUR CAT
Remember the time
when our cat ran away
we hollered her name
up a bunch of driveways
& drove twice a week
to the SPCA
to check every cage
full of kittens & strays
You made some flyers
at Copies To Go
with her cutest picture
our number below
& we hung on windows
& telephone poles
& I'm pretty sure
we bummed out everyone we know
A whole month went by
& it rained every day
& most of our flyers
got moldy & gray
then somebody found her
a few blocks away
she was skinny & scared
but she was okay
Remember the strangers
who thought they were wise
who insisted she'd come back
& cats have nine lives
& we'd try to act gratefu
for stupid advice
cats don't come back sometimes
but this time it was fine
THE ONLY OTHER GIRL FROM BACK HOME
Most of the snow's melted it's just lumps of ice
& plastic bags strewn in the yard
I'd go & get us a bottle of wine
but I'm pretty sure that they card
Lansing is ugly it smells like a bus
but it's better than where we came from
& you're the only girl I can talk to
You're the only other girl from back home
You got a job & you got me one too
& we hated our jobs pretty bad
but there was this one boy we both thought was cute
This Hessian dishwasher named Chad
& I took him home knowing you liked him first
& you cussed me out on the phone
Now you won't even talk to me
& you're the only other girl from back home
I ran into Case-Man an hour ago
He was just passing through town
He said this junior took gasoline cans
& she burned our old high school down
& I ran out to find you I looked everywhere
though you said to leave you alone
But you're the only person that I thought should know
You're the only other girl from back home
You're the one single person I wanted to tell
We're the only two girls from back home
PAMELA
Your dad was seventeen
& dumb as a drum machine
A star & a goat
on a chain at his throat
Sold acid & mescaline
but even when he was clean
he still had the smell of weed in his coat
You were named after a fake I.D.
Smaller than you should be
with eyes just as black as the sea
Your mom was sixteen
& sweeter than saccharine
Always said her prayers
unless he was there
She worked at Dairy Queen
& no matter how she cleaned
she still had the smell of death in her hair
You were born into a world of sin
You are the devil's kin
The sign of the beast on your skin
You have come to fulfill a prophecy
To level humanity
& burn everything that you see
RABBITS
Woke up late
in a fog
Took a pill
walked the dog
Down Levon
onto Birch
Heard the sound
of the organ
inside the church
Floated on
down to Vine
like we did
a hundred times
Felt the leash
pulling hard
towards a family
of rabbits
in your old yard
The last that I heard
you'd settled down
in South Bend
& married a girl
whose folks own the bar
that you tend
Up above
village square
saw some birds
huddled there
chirping on
power lines
they seemed happy
just to be
with their own kind
The last that I heard
you'd settled down
in South Bend
& married a girl
whose folks own the bar
that you tend
& you'd had a baby
maybe by now
you've had ten
but I wanna see you again
In the park
there's a pine
with your name
next to mine
& the heart
that you carved
still surrounds us
I feel it there always
Lily + Michael
RENE GOODNIGHT
When I meet you at Juan's party you'd just moved here
You knew some of my friends from Tulsa
I liked your accent & we talked til Juan kicked us out
You walked me back to my apartment
But you didn't come inside
You just smiled at me so wide
You said "I'm so glad I met you
Rene Goodnight"
I thought about you the next morning & called up Fran
to see how well she knew you in Tulsa
She said "Uh oh he's got a reputation here
I heard that he hurt some old partners"
Is that why you had to move
Are the Tulsa rumors true
When you called that night I sent it to voicemail
When I saw you at the diner the next weekend
I got scared & ducked into a booth
& hid behind a menu til you got up to go
I watched you pay your check & leave alone
Now I see you in my dreams
Sometimes sinister & mean
Sometimes sweet as hell
I don't know what to believe
When you walked me home that night
I had felt safe by your side
You said "I'm so glad I met you
Rene Goodnight"
RIOT GRRRLS
Meg & me were friends
when we were in school
we were the only riot girls
that we knew
summer jobs at the Oak Mall
Cinemas 1 & 2
we saw every movie
we could sit through
gin in soda cups
when we'd work nights
the projectionist gave us weed
sometimes
& we'd drive around
in my father's Taurus
singing along with the tapes
that Meg made us
Meg went crazy we lost touch
I don't think of her much
I've got kids of my own
the oldest half grown
I left for Reed that fall
& Meg got fired
but we'd talk on the phone
most nights 'til we got tired
I made friends with girls my age
Meg drank on her own
& when the money ran out
she moved home
& we'd drive around
when I came home for Christmas
wondering if we ran
who'd miss us
SAME DREAM
You wake from the same dream
where you get fat
& to your shock
you give birth to your old cat
Your neighbor's snoring
Hear the parakeet
Sit by the window
& stare down at the street
Sunrise
Grey & orange streaks
Thirty more weeks
The morning train
The crush & sound
It's seventeen stops
before you get downtown
Your stomach's queasy
with flashes of heat
But maybe once that belly shows
you'll get a seat
It roars & it creaks
Thirty more weeks
You check rental listings
on your lunch at work
You could have a real house
if you just left New York
A vegetable garden
A white picket fence
Closer to mom
Reasonable rents
A happy place for childhood memories
Thirty more weeks
THE SISTER YOU NEVER HAD
Turn off the T.V.
& please set the table
the casserole's ready at 6
& go fetch your brother
he's down at Patricia's
they're watching horror flicks
They'll show you the scary part
a wolf rips a man apart
from within there's no defense
like 3 plates at dinner
ever since the winter
it doesn't make any sense
Changes come with the seasons
let summer turn into fall
there's no use complaining
you don't want things changing
at all
15 years later
you live on an island
but you've got your telephone calls
you'll see mom at Christmas
& Dad at Thanksgiving
your brother you won't see at all
He's living abroad now
somewhere in England
& going by Deborah or Paul
he signed you a postcard
the sister you never had
you've got it pinned to your wall
Changes come with the seasons
let summer turn into fall
there's no use complaining
you don't want things changing
at all
SUMMER MUSIC
Some recollection of symmetry
it was hazy & 70
& her in her summer dress
half a beer & her hair a mess
The sound of music
from the kitchen boombox
With a heart like a symphony
cymbal crashing infinity
it came under some duress
she left with my happiness
The sound of music
from the kitchen boombox
There's no comfort in sympathy
she's upstate with a family
I'm still at the same address
I still believe I could love her best
The sound of music
from the kitchen boombox
SUMMON SATAN
You had tried to summon Satan
but screwed up the incantation
& left an open portal
on your parents' kitchen wall
& the demons you released that day
have stayed with you you along your way
Screaming in your ear
Kill them all
You can worry about the future
You can worry about the past
You can worry about how long
this curse is going to last
You were walking through the park one night
angry looking for a fight
when you heard a busker
playing accordion
You stuck him twice & down he fell
Sealed your passage straight to hell
& you knew at once
that you would kill again
You can worry about the future
You can worry about the past
You can worry about how long
this loneliness will last
You can worry about the future
You can worry about the past
You can worry about how long
this curse is going to last
TRISHA PLEASE COME HOME
You don't call me ever on the phone
Am I supposed to listen to Thin Lizzy
& get high on my own
I went by the restaurant
Becky said
you don't work there anymore
She said one guy too many made a pass at you
& you walked out the door
You dropped your apron in the parking lot
& never came back for your last paycheck
I don't see you ever at the bar
I'm always on the lookout
for your busted ass Windstar
Your name's off your buzzer
There's no welcome mat
sitting outside your door
Your neighbor said the landlord raised the rent Ôtil you
wouldn't pay it anymore
You cleared the whole place out in a single night
& you were up & gone before it was light
You used to get so mad
I couldn't take you serious
I'd make one stupid joke
& you'd act furious
You even warned me once
that you'd get out somehow
I guess you're somewhere laughing now
Wild one wild one where'd you go
Wild one wild one where'd you go
Trisha please come home
TRUE LOVE DEATH DREAM
In memory you're 17
in your boyfriend's Econoline
at the Aquatorium in Gary
A dress shirt & his favorite jeans
His hair is long & smelling good
The music loud & when he looks into your eyes
It was true love
Don't ever let them tell you any different
It was true love
True love love
A month after you left for school
he crashed his van & he was killed
He had your name tattooed you never saw it
You got the call & didn't cry
You blew off class & got the bus
They whispered when they saw you at the funeral
that it was true love
Don't ever let them tell you any different
It was true love
True love love
& now your dog has got his name
You never tell anyone that
His memory's your one constant companion
& it was true love
Don't ever let them tell you any different
It was true love
True love love
WHIRLAWAY THE HORSE
Bet on a long shot a colt in the third
paid out considerable
broke me from miserable
Cashed my winnings & built the bar
called it The Whirlaway
that was the pony's name
'41-'42 horse of the year
Triple Crown victory
he's been real good to me
Child of Blenheim & Dustwhirl
British blood pumping
that chestnut was something
Not long ago Whirlaway died
it's his picture here on my arm
if you're in here drinking
just raise a glass to him
Our good old lucky charm
YOUR DOG
Don't go down Highland Street
all that much anymore
but I had to get my glasses fixed
Right there in front
of the old coffee shop was Walter
just sitting where he'd always sit
& he was staring in the window
& maybe at you
or maybe at whomever's walking him
to fetch your muffins & your Sunday papers
the way we used to
I don't drink coffee
all that much anymore
When I do I fix it at home
Don't do the crosswords Sundays
I can feel dumb other ways
I could never finish them alone
Sundays I ride down to the dog park
on the other side of town
just to sit down in the shade
& watch those puppies running round
I don't miss feeling bad & dreading every call
The constant screaming dialogue
I swear that there were some days
it felt like I was only
coming around for your dog
All those sunny days with Walter
chasing squirrels around the park
& the way he'd flip
when he would see me coming
like the way he did this morning
with his big old Walter bark
Bark bark
Bark bark
Bark bark
Hey there Walter
Bark bark
all music & lyrics by Owen Ashworth except where noted